James wrote, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. For man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20). As a general rule, people are not good listeners. It is easy for a person to get it into their mind that they are smarter than they really are and always wanting to give someone a piece of their mind. But the problem with that is when you continually give someone a piece of your mind you can bet that some people will wonder if you have lost part of your mind. There is the saying, “You can keep silent and people might think that you are a fool, or you can open your mouth and prove that you are a fool.” “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28).
Quick to hear! A young man went to the great speaker to learn how to speak. As the young man went on and on as to what he wanted the great teacher to teach him, the teacher finally reached over and put his hand over the young man’s mouth and said, “If I am going to teach you, I am going to have to charge you double for my services, because I have to teach you two things: the first is how to hold your tongue; the second is how to use it.
In the book of Job, chapter 11, Zophar is trying to explain to Job why he is going through all that suffering and when he quits speaking Job responds, “If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom” (Job 13:5). Zophar, if you kept your mouth shut people might think you have a little wisdom (my paraphrase). God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we should listen at least twice as much as we speak. 15 times in the Bible Jesus said, “He who has an ear, let him hear!”
But not only are we to be quick to listen, we should be careful who we listen to. We wouldn’t go to the local drunk to get advice on how to invest our money, or to a student pilot to learn how to be an ag-pilot. When it comes to spiritual advice, we have the Bible as our final authority. Jesus said, “Take care what you listen to. By your standard of measure it shall be measured to you” (Mark 4:24). Lawyers and doctors don’t go out on the street to learn how to practice their profession; they spent several years in universities learning their profession from legal and medical professors. Christians shouldn’t listen to every person who stands up and says that they are God’s prophet for today. Every Christian should be like the Bereans, because they received the message of Jesus Christ from Paul and then they examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true (cf. Acts 17:11).
Slow to speak! Jesus said, “I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned…The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:36-37, Luke 6:45). God is listening to every word we speak. “Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord…For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord and He examines all his paths…Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account” (Psalm 139:4, Proverbs 5:21, Hebrews 4:13).
Words are like the chemical aerial applicators spray through the booms on their planes; neither one can be recalled and both of them can have good or devastating results. Words are like bullets, they can’t be recalled. Carelessly spoken words can be just as devastating on people’s lives as carelessly fired bullets. And both of them can ricochet back and hurt the one who fired the bullets or spoke the words—world history proves that—words have started many arguments and wars between nations that have killed millions of people. The Bible describes the tongue as wicked, deceitful, perverse, filthy, corrupt, flattering, slanderous, gossiping, blasphemous, foolish, boasting, complaining, cursing, contentious, sensual and vile. Someone has said, “The tongue is in a wet place, it can easily slip.”
Slow to anger! “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil…A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control…An angry man stirs up dissension and a hot-tempered one commits many sins” (Psalm 37:8, Proverbs 29:11, 22). The question for all of us is not whether we get angry or not, but for what reasons do we get angry? Jesus got angry at the Pharisees because they thought that their traditions were more important than healing a man’s shriveled hand (Mark 3:1-6). Jesus later said to these same Pharisees, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions!” (Mark 7:9).
Anger is a God given emotion, but used in the wrong way it can cost us dearly. Moses was angry when he struck the rock instead of obeying God and speaking to the rock and it cost him the privilege of going into the Promise Land (Numbers 20:1-12). The only time our anger can be justified is when it serves God’s purposes—not our own selfish desires. Paul wrote, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). Anger is almost always destructive and rarely does it serve God’s purposes. “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26).